Christmas Lights

I was doing a little night shopping in our old neighborhood, North Park, which was beautifully decorated and illuminated for Christmas, and I found my eyes tearing up over the Christmas lights. The ones on the Adams Avenue Bridge did me in, which is completely ridiculous if you've ever seen them. There are so many little joys in life like Christmas lights that I have taken for granted until now. I've always enjoyed the glittering displays of color and brightness, as well as the inventive ways people express themselves with their yards and houses as canvases. This year, however, I felt an emotional baggage along with my Christmas lights. The feelings of warmth and excitement that they inspire weighed heavily on my heart as I thought that I might not be able to share these visual joys with my baby.

Later that very night Brian and I watched an episode of Parks and Rec, and on the show the characters were going to do a podcast of the town's Christmas tree lighting. "That's exciting, listening to a Christmas tree lighting," one of them said. The timing of this line was unbelievable.

When we first found out that Audrey might be visually impaired, we thought a lot about all of the limitations she would have and the things she wouldn't do. Thankfully she hasn't allowed us much time to think about it. (We hardly have time to do the laundry--and I'm not even working). Instead, her every smile, coo, and even diaper disaster reassures us that everything is as it should be, and that she is wonderful just the way she is. The only limitation that this girl could have would be to have parents and loved ones with low expectations for her. The onus is really on us to reconcieve the possibilities, because I know we'll find that they're endless.

We're not giving up on the idea of sharing Christmas lights with Audrey either. We've actually bought a couple of strands just for her to play with (with supervision, of course). In fact, if she does have some vision, (and she may) lights are some of the best things for her. She already has quite a collection too, from flashlights to balls to glowing seahorses. For Christmas, she got a giant disco light to go along with the lava lamp and light strands already adorning her room. There's a lot going on in there these days, but lights out by 8pm!
I just know that our electricity bill is going to be through the roof.