AP had a visit with her new pediatrician, Doctor Bret Pickering today. She's a healthy 27 inches long (100th %ile) and 16 pounds(75%ile). Other than having to wait over an hour to be seen, the visit went well. He made all of the necessary referrals that we needed--to Dr. Granet for our next opthamologic checkup, to Dr. Zang the geneticist who specializes in diseases of the retina, to Dr. Zimbric, the neurologist, and finally to a physical therapist.
Dr. Pickering thinks that the physical therapist will want to see Audrey weekly to work on building her upper body muscles so that she can learn to pull herself up. Since birth, Audrey has also looked and tilted her head to the left and this has caused a flat spot on one side of her head, which needs to be corrected. We've been working on this for a long time, but maybe we'll learn some more strategies.
He spent some time talking with me about MediCal and SSI and some other programs that she might be able to qualify for. He told me to prepare myself: that it's going to be a gigantic pain in the you know what to get her these things.
Then the worst part...the shots. Audrey cried like never before. I thought she was going to stop breathing.
I found out last night that I will be returning to my kindergarten teaching position. There was a possibility I might do a support position, which would be much less involved, but I didn't get the go ahead on that one because of some contractual issue. I went in to my class today and took Audrey with me. We spent time in the class with the kids and my wonderful substitute Ms. Courtney. All the kids were fascinated by Audrey and wanted to give her hugs and kisses. I reminded them that at school, we only kiss people in our family.
The last couple of days have been pretty hard emotionally for me. Good thing Brian is together. It's a great thing that we see-saw pretty much always. I'm up when he's down and vice versa. I've been plagued with guilt about going back to work for the last two days. It hasn't helped that Audrey has been having such a tough time with her glasses. She just hasn't been our laughing, bouncing, happy baby since she's had them and it breaks my heart. When they're on, she's ripping them off, when they're off, she's rubbing her eyes. It's just become a constant battle and so I started crying and was in a puddle on the couch last night when Brian got home after having a long day himself.
Today I was crying because her thighs were so tender after her shots that she screamed every time I picked her up. I have never heard her scream so loud. I just feel so bad about leaving her and I worry about how things are going to be. Luckily there are only 4 months left of school, and hopefully I'll have some options for part-time work next year.
Things always work out the way they should. I'm a big believer in the idea that things are as they should be and that everything happens for a reason and we have to learn from it. It's just that the learning curve has been steep lately. Luckily we have a trip to Palm Springs with friends this weekend to take our minds off of things momentarily. Can't wait to go on our girls' mid-century modern bike ride while the boys play golf. Brian calls me a Mo-Ho.
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I have wallowed in my own pool of tears many times over the eye-pressing/poking. I still do. It is SUCH a struggle. Hang in there, things do get easier as they get older, and learn to use their hands for other things. Even at 17 months, it's still my main focus of everyday, as well as the glasses. I wrote about Snuggle Wraps on my blog, and for us it became essential for car rides.
ReplyDeleteGavin also had the flat side on one side. It has gotten better. He still, to this day will prefer to lay with his head at an angle. The full body contact to the floor is his "safe place", and that is our struggle too right now to get him up and moving. I would roll up a receiving blanket when he was small and prop it under the other side to counter his urge to lay on that one side. It seemed to work. Ok, sorry I can go on forever! I feel for your trials, we are there with you guys. :)
PS.. Her glasses are ADORABLE :)
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